Friday, February 29, 2008

Timing

I don't know how they do it.

My emailboxes are full of promotions from other pastors. Brian's new book and tour. Rob's articles.
My Firefox bookmarks link to regularly updated blogs. Daily, even.
Opportunities for reprioritizing abound: 7 Habits; Make Your Time Top-Heavy' Purpose-Driven.
Me? I'm up at 3:30 a.m. because it's quiet and had to feed the baby anyway. It's been 2 months -- 2 months! -- since I was here in cyberspace. I have exercised maybe 1x/week. Precious little meditation. No more than a book a week (not including those little black-and-white shapebooks that we "read" to our kid).

Talk to me all you want about how a baby turns your life upside down. Talk until you're blue in the face. Others manage it -- manage to do meaningful work, manage to stay in touch with the Big Gal. What gives?

I'd like to think that She's trying to teach me something. But, other than "don't compare yourself to others", I'm at a loss. And honestly, given the Holy Spirit's movement in my communities, and the book bubbling in the back of my mind, Her timing stinks.

If you're a pastor, writer, parent, and faithful contemplative, please email me with how you do it. I'm open to suggestion. And do tell me what has to go to make it happen.

3 comments:

Heather Dillashaw said...

I know I'm not a parent (yet) and likely not a very faithful contemplative, either. As your friend, though, I want you to be gentle with yourself. Yes - it's been 2 months. The other side of that is that it's been only 2 months. And, let's be honest - most new parents do not go through or deal with even half of what y'all did in those 2 months. I pray you'll be gentle with yourself, and that there will be grace in that.

Debbi C. said...

Ok my dear, here is the news flash...you are human! You are so very early in the parenting game and you cannot do it all. You will establish a routine and a rhythm and before you know it, things will start to click along. Until then, your connections with God, your child and Bran should be your primary focus. Take several deep breaths...you will be fine. Besides, these are actually the easy times. Before you know it she will start talking and telling you "NO!" :-)
Hugs!

Bets said...

Hi! I happened upon your blog through RevGals. I'm a church worker (liturgist, not technically a pastor), wife, and mom of a 2-year-old. I write, both as part of my position and for my own development. My Ian is almost precisely 2 years older than your Elizabeth.

You are in very, very difficult place. When Ian was 2 months old...good Lord, I hate to even remember it.

I was on leave. I missed work absolutely desperately; at the same time, I had no idea how I would ever go back, considering that I unable to accomplish anything harder than buttoning my shirt in a day. I couldn't concentrate (I wasn't reading a book a week, I'll tell you that!)

I won't dwell on this (feel free to contact me if you'd like) but I will say that, 2 years later, I think I'm much much better than I was before Ian was born. I'm less fearful, more effective, more creative (not to mention more organized, because I have to be) and feel closer to my husband and to my co-workers than I ever did before.

And I'm more aware of the InDwelling God than before.

Not to say I'm not impatient, snippish, self-centered and self-important at any moment. But generally I'm a better minister and a better follower, and the changes in me have blessed my congregation.