Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Redefining 'me'

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  (John 15:13)

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that."  (James 4:13-15)

A fruitfly in the 23rd hour of life has a longer attention span than I do.

Writing 10 mins later, having read and responded to email and hopped links on the web.

Part of the problem is discipline, or lack thereof. Nothing new about that.  What is new is the expansive changes occurring around me, and the deep changes within me these must incur. Examples: I'm trying on "writer" in place of "pastor". "Tennessee" instead of "Bay Area". "Student" rather than "wage-earner". When we move, I will no longer have anywhere I have to be at any particular time.

There is so much to do to prepare, and so little that can be done. Looking at houses is concrete and future-directed; writing sermons feels like pouring energy into the past. I can't even think about never serving Eucharist again. Moving. Prepping the house for rental. Tying up loose ends in church. Getting in every last teaching opportunity I have. Not saying goodbye.

Just hope I'm laying down my life rather than getting all misty. Though mist would explain more.


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