After Christmas, and wonderful worship with my church, I took vacation time. It was the best of times and the worst of times. The best was having extended time with my husband, and visiting my sister-and-brother-in-law in Portland. The worst was having extended time with my own brain.
Maybe not the worst of times -- "the unexamined life is not worth living," after all. Sometimes all that brain space is freeing: it can allow my mind and soul to explore possibilities. This time, I wound up confronting myself in new ways.
The upshot: The only barrier between my living fully into God's gifts and purpose is me. My own fears, my own brokennesses. My own gaps of trust in God.
But God is very very good, even to me. God reached out through the love of my husband and comforted me. God reached out through the companionship of women-friends-in-ministry and inspired me. And God convinced me to whisper my dreams and expose my gifts to all of them.
And to commit to using those gifts, no matter how afraid I may get.
I dream of relationships that break down the boundaries between me and God. Or you and God.
I dream of "church" that is whole-life, deep, and relational -- that reimagines community life into connected living.
I dream of helping others overcome the distorted mirrors and demon voices that keep them from believing that they are worthy of God's love... and that they already have it.
There's a project in the works. But in the meanwhile, there's a cyberhome.
Even You Ministries, because God in Christ loves even you, and there's nothing you can do to change that.
Vacation can work miracles.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
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